Even your cat has got a soul mate, You are still single. Quite frustrating for you. Isn’t it??
You browse social media, just to find your friends going from “Single” to “In a Relationship”. You start questioning yourself.
Looking for haphazard answers all across the web (Just like this one). The only difference, the answer won’t be haphazard this time.
“Do I Look Ugly?”
“Do I look fat?”
“Do I look thin like a wafer?”
“Is something wrong with my texture?”
“Am I not good enough to deserve a soul mate”?
You have no idea how many times you ask this question to yourself, every day.
But, there is no real answer. Whatever be the opinion, the end result stays the same. You are still single.
Let me tell you the truth,
There is nothing wrong being single. But, that is not the focus item and we will discuss it later. Also, the reasons are still unknown to you.
You will wonder how small things can repel your soul mate from you.
“The right thing, done the wrong way”. One of the biggest reasons, You are Still Single. It’s time you bust all the reasons, keeping you away from your soul mate.
What’s keeping you away from your soul mate? What are the factors others are leveraging and you aren’t?
Here is a 30 point list, which will tell you what exactly is the problem and how to fix each one.
So, Why You are Still Single?
Note: The reasons stand equally applicable for guys and girls. No gender bias.
Image Courtesy of Stockphoto at Freedigitalphotos.net
#1: You need a Girlfriend/Boyfriend
Can I be honest for a moment?
You are trying hard.
But, It’s getting to the point of being obnoxious. You are opening your heart out to every guy/girl. You just can’t avoid on flirting.
You break your ass off to make the opposite gender smile. You feel no respect being single.
Every person you meet is just a prospective partner for you. Stop doing it, immediately.
You have to accept that every person can’t be your partner. They won’t be compatible with you. Even if you succeed after throwing your heart to hundreds or thousands, chances are cent percent that you will fail.
Fix- Go with the flow. When you meet a new person, don’t assume them to be your future partner or soul mate. Don’t become a propose machine. Let the time decide for you. If your paths are to meet, surely they will. Spend time, be friends, hang around and let your feelings grow. Make sure it is not infatuation. Infatuation will subside in a month or two, love won’t.
“Friendship is the first step towards a successful relationship”.
#2: You are desperate for a partner to flaunt
As mentioned before, the social media is making you more jealous every passing day.
Its a weird competition. Whose girlfriend or boyfriend is hotter? Who does the most selfies?
Who has gone committed this week? You feel left alone like a piece of….No bad words.
You become open to pay any price, just to change that relationship status from “Single” to “In a relationship”.
It has become a battle for you, to prove your life is equally happening like others. For that sake, you need a partner who could go out with you on parties and prom nights.
“I also have a girlfriend/boyfriend. See.” The only thing you want to prove.
Is it that important to flaunt?
Fix- Material is meant to be flaunted, partners aren’t. Who wants to be treated like a show piece?
Do you? Absolutely not.
Don’t long for a partner if you just need to flaunt them in your friend circle. If your feelings are not genuine, wait for the right person. Do not attempt to enter a relationship, for the sake of your social profile or friend circle.
If you do so, you will be broken one day. The moment a person gets this impression, they won’t even think of a relationship with you.
“No More Flaunting partners”. Mark it as today’s lesson.
#3: You are a Wannabe
You try to imitate the “cool dudes”. Accept it.
Just because they attract the opposite sex, you want to become one like them. You are in absolute identity crisis.
Is it necessary to become a wannabe?
How many days will that gloss last? One, two…three..
If I hate Tofu, I can eat it four or five days to impress you. Just because you like it. Just for your happiness.
What will happen when you come to know I hate Tofu?
The answer is obvious. The real self can’t be hidden.
If I feel uncomfortable wearing jeans, I will surely put on Pajamas soon.
Fix- Your mask won’t last long. So, never try to put one. Be yourself. Suit yourself. Let people accept the way you are. You need not lose your identity, attempting to please the opposite sex.
If a person really loves you, they won’t change you. Instead, they would blend with you. They will try to become a part of you.
“Love Being Who you are”.
#4: You think you need fairness creams
How many of you compare the color of each other’s hands?
Which is more white? Who is more black?
White will get a partner and black won’t. This is what you think.
I am sorry to be honest, you need to rework your social principles. Having a partner isn’t dependent upon texture.
But, they always look for fair guys/girls. Isn’t it?
Everyone has the right to set their own priorities. But, don’t ever generalize it. Fair and dark can become soul mates. Mark this in your head today.
Stop feeling the need for fairness creams. Dark is equally gorgeous as white.
Fix- Never judge anyone on texture. It’s just a biological accident. Never feel low because you are dark. Tall, dark and handsome is the new trend. If somebody is judging you on skin color, they won’t make soul mates.
If your vibes match, surely you will make a nice soul mate for your partner irrespective of your texture.
So, stop worrying about your skin texture.
#5: You Never Take the First Step
Why should I go ahead? I am good and people should approach me first.
This is what you think. You shy away from interactions. You just can’t keep your cool when meeting a new person.
Your body language says it all. You fumble while speaking, look here and there and make every excuse to get out of there.
Shyness won’t take you anywhere. Being introvert doesn’t mean you stop interacting.
“Introversion could be opening up at least in front of some people”. Shed the boundary around you. Be approachable and reliable.
People should be able to come to you when they really need you. That is enhancing relationships.
Fix- Stay introvert. Fair Enough. But never alienate the people around you. Start talking normal.
Normal communication means asking about each other’s well being, plans for weekend, talking about pets or anything common you share.
Always wear a smile on your face, while talking to someone. Nod your head. It shows how attentive you are. Take care of such small things, and your soul mate will be just a mile away.
#6: You want your partner to be your replica
Lets get it straight. You are too demanding. Accept it or not.
She likes ice-creams. But I like pancakes.
He likes blue. I like pink.
How can I live with a short person? How do people live with 6 feet tall guys?
You want to stumble upon similarities before saying those three magical words. You desire a change in your prospective partner.
You want them to be like you. Eat like you. Sleep like you. Respond like you.
You want a complete package. The perfect partner. I am sorry to break you here,
Perfection doesn’t exist. You will be waiting for life. Trust me.
Fix- It’s time you go beyond the physical look. A short stature doesn’t mean they won’t make a good partner. Its more important, what they feel for you. What if you mean the world to them?
Isn’t this good enough for a thriving relationship?
Give it a thought before you sleep today.
#7: You are confined to the “Friend Zone”
As mentioned earlier, most relationships start with a casual friendship. You meet each other, start talking, start caring, start appreciating, start fighting and criticizing and eventually fall in love.
You know what?
Your story is confined to the third step. Caring.
You want to take the first step, but you are afraid. What if he/she refuses to accept? What if you friendship is doomed?
Correction..Let me show you the reality.
What if some other person says I love you before you.
Your nightmare…He/she says Yes. Now, you are doomed. Left with nothing
Why live in regret? Why not speak your mind?
Fix- Please come out of the friend zone. Enough of friendship. You have been a good friend, but it is time you aim to become a life partner. Do not let go your feelings. Take a stand for, how you feel about him/her.
Once you are out of the friend zone, you will move a step ahead to your soul mate.
#8: You are looking for quick Sex
No relationship expert will tell you this truth. I am telling because I am no expert. I am saying this on facts.
You are a Casanova. You just want to end up in a one night stand…every day.
You want to have sex with every beautiful girl.
You end up being a sex freak.
Who wants to stay with a sex freak? Would you like being treated as a sex object?
Fix- It’s not always about having the best, erotic and steamy sex. Its about showing your presence, when they need you the most. Just let your crush know that you will be there, no matter what.
Build a sense of comfort around them. Make them feel good about your presence. Pay attention. Respond to them. If you succeed in making your loved one feel special, they will love to be with you always.
#9: You don’t Love Yourself
The biggest reason. You aren’t in love with yourself.
You crave for that perfect body. That glittering complexion. That perfect hair style.
You have so many issues with yourself. You can’t even count one good quality about yourself.
How can you expect others to find those qualities inside you, which you don’t have? Why would they love you?
Fix- Stop complaining, start loving. It doesn’t matter if you have a broad waist or acne. Of course, you can work for it, but results will take time.
For the time being, stop thinking about it. Focus on your qualities, eradicate your weaknesses.
Who doesn’t have flaws?
Everyone has. It is more important to enhance your strengths, even while trying to outshine the flaws.
#10: You have lost faith in Relationships
You had a really bad breakup. Maybe your partner ditched you. Cheated on you for someone else.
You were shattered. You had no idea what shortcomings your love had? What went wrong with you?
You know what?
They were at fault. You never were.
Why are you ruining your life for a feeling which wasn’t love? That just ripped off by some stranger’s presence.
“If it’s not love, it wouldn’t last forever”.
Fix- Every person is not good and not bad as well. Stop the generalization right now. It is time you give another chance to you life. It is time you get over the past relationship.
Embrace the relations, which are standing right in front of you. Trying to heal you. Your life deserves a second chance. Go and grab it now.
#11: You are allergic to commitments
You know you like him/her. You would go all way to make them happy.
You are not ready for a relationship. This is what your mind has to say. It says that you are afraid of commitments.
You have the intuition that commitment will ruin your life, devoid you of all freedom.
Is commitment bad?
No. Not at all. It will just make you more present and responsible. You don’t have to sacrifice on sleep and night parties.
Fix- If it isn’t an open relationship, you would remain single if you run away from commitment. Accept that you love/her and will remain with them forever.
If still your mind says no, I am afraid you really are in love.
#12: You need a Social Approval
“How was he/she? Did you like him/her?”
“Is he/she the right match for me”?
These questions are familiar to you. Right??
You need a social stamp for your own life. You want others to decide who is the perfect match for you.
Well, the flaws never seem to stop. Nobody is perfect, Remember?? It includes you as well.
Have your own experiences to learn. Don’t rely on others just because they had some bad ones.
“Life is a blend of good and bad experiences”.
Fix- Decide yourself. Ask yourself. Listen to yourself. Choose your partner by yourself, as your friends don’t have to stay with them. You have to.
Then why their opinion supersede yours?
This is your homework this week. You know what to do.
#13: You want quick results
You don’t respect the comfort levels of the other person. You want them to be a part of life, fair enough.
But you aren’t allowing the required time. The time required to understand you. To spend time with you.
You know what happens?
You remain single. You can’t force yourself on someone. You have to keep patience, even if they say
“I need some time”.
It’s a decision for life. How could you expect it to become a one week affair?
“Any quick decision goes in vain.”
If you still have any doubts, read #8 and come again here.
Fix- Have patience. Do your bit and keep your fingers crossed. Let him/her take their time. The more they understand you, the more will be the intensity of your relationship. Learn to grant time.
#14: You are not Presentable
You take no care of personal hygiene. You fight and hit others over petty issues. Over reaction is your favorite pastime.
You belittle others. You are hell offensive.
OK. You are not presentable.
You would say that is what who you are. Isn’t it??
But my friend, you have no right to harm. Your actions shouldn’t turn out to be a menace for others.
Who would like to live with Dennis the Menace?
Fix- Make yourself presentable. You know what behavioral changes you need. Make a small action to get over them. You will improve day by day. Once you gain little control, people will start liking you. It is important you don’t stray off the topic during a discussion. That will be treated as irritating and offensive at the same time.
Good reason to find your soul mate!!
#15: You have never valued relations
The known issue. You take things for granted. You never care about the other person. It doesn’t matter how they feel. It has been about you always.
Did I just call you selfish?
Yes. I did because you are. You can blabber about your life the whole day, but can’t listen to a single word about others.
“Love happens between TWO people. It is never about an individual. It is companionship.”
Fix- Be empathetic. Be a good listener. Deliver what you expect from others. Care about whom you truly love. This is the perfect step if you want to be with your soul mate.
Get started Now!!
Nobody wants to stay alone. Joy is sharing your happiness with the most loved one. Some are successful at early stages of life, some find it later. You don’t need to feel inferior. You don’t need to panic if you are single.
The stigma attached with single hood is that you have some imperfections. You don’t deserve a partner. It is not right.
It might be because you never came across a person compatible to you, who would love to be a part of you despite all imperfections.
Yes. It’s true. Even if you are single, there is a lot to explore. You just need to wait for your prince or princess charming to come. If you are already with them and failed to express, go through all the points again and I am sure you will succeed.
The Arena is Yours…
Do you know some more reasons of being single?
Would you like to add more to the resource? I always appreciate thoughtful comments.
If you have one, feel free to share it with your readers in the comments section.
Cheers to your Great Life Ahead!!