What? Did I just call your friends and social circle toxic? Did I say you are hanging around with toxic people?
Yes, I did. I am not talking about everyone. Friendship is one of the most essential components of life. It completes you. It completes me.
But, there is an exception to it. There are people around you pretending to be your best well-wishers, but they can’t bear anything well about you. They want you to suffer. They want to see you struggle and never succeed.
They say you are important but always take you for granted. Your importance in their life is like a zero watt bulb.
You feel suffocated, gasping for breath when surrounded by a bunch of people. They could be daily acquaintances or even pretend to be your best friends. They are poisoning your life everyday.
Who are they?
They are the “TOXIC PEOPLE” in your life. You won’t get to know when they take undue advantage of your innocence. They use you and trash you like a Pepsi Can. They suck the joy out of your life, like a leech does.
But, how can you identify such toxic people?
Sometimes, you don’t have any idea that people toxify you. They do it silently. They wait for the right moment like an anaconda, and hit you hard in life.
Its high time you should throw such persons out of your life. It’s time you identify such toxic people, and smack them in their face by saying,
“Just get out of my life”
Here is a step-by-step list to identify and eliminate toxic people in your life,
#1: They are always Busy as Bee
They sting your emotions, just like a bee. They will always say, “I am jam-packed busy. I have no time for you.”
Being busy isn’t bad. Sometimes, it is just unavoidable. We all have commitments, a day job or a small business. Isn’t it?
This isn’t a sign of toxicity.
But, we all are busy. You know that. True people try and find time, even if it’s possible for 5-10 minutes.
Toxic people never have any time for you. They just refuse to value your time. It’s perfectly normal for them.
You might be thinking about their well-being all the time. But, You know what?
They don’t give a damn about you. They don’t care if you are well or you had your food on time.
#2: They ignore you to the point of being non-existent
You just don’t exist. You send 50 text messages. They will reply either one or none.
They won’t pick your call, most of the times. Even if they do, they will make you feel like returning a million-dollar favor.
They will make you feel creepy and privileged for talking to them. They won’t respond to your missed calls.
Do they ever think your call might be important?
No. because you stand nowhere in their life. For them, you are non-existent. For you, they might be everything.
But unfortunately, for them; You are nothing.
#3: They keep their convenience on par with yours
You meet your friends. Right??
Sometimes, at a common meeting place or a friend’s place. Fair enough.
But what does a toxic friend do?
“Either you come to my place, or I am out of the plan.”
“I will meet you only if you come at 9 pm, else I have better things to do in life”.
Toxic people can never taste their own medicine. It’s fine if they are late by an hour, but if you dare to miss it by 5 minutes; they make your life a tiny hell.
They scream at you, criticize you like a moron and keep you reminding the same thing every time. It’s always about their convenience first, no matter how badly you suffer. It isn’t their problem, anyway.
#4: They mock you even after knowing how nasty you feel
They know your weak points. They have a fair idea what would pinch you the most.
They are pretty good at exploiting it.
For example, if you are over-weight and don’t want to be called fatty in front of others, they will hoot fatty-fatty-fatty a million times.
If you feel nasty, it’s not a matter of concern. They are having fun. That’s it.
We all pull each others legs. Isn’t it??
There is nothing wrong with it.
But, it shouldn’t put a scar on someone’s self esteem.
There is no better word than toxic for such people, who mock you without even trying to sense how you feel.
#5: They outshine the positive
They never allow you to be optimistic. Seeing you getting positive is their worst nightmare.
Everything we come across in life has two sides, Pros and Cons. Positive and Negative.
Toxic people always disparage you, by counting all the negative points they could.
They will say that they don’t want you to fail, or make any mistakes. They want you to excel.
But the reality,
They bring the never-ending flow of pessimism, so that you could never start. They paralyze your actions by their venom of negativity.
For example, you want to open a boutique and having a discussion with your friends.
How toxic people act?
A point worth mentioning. Some will chart out the positive sides of the idea. Some of them will make you wary about the negative side, still appreciating you.
But, a toxic friend will judge your idea as a flop. They will say all points in negative like lack of funds, inexperience, etc etc.
Hope it gets clear.
#6: They make you feel miserable than ever
Toxic people won’t spare you, even during the gloomy times.
In fact, they see it as an opportunity to push you towards the darkness of hopelessness.
They won’t allow the slightest ray of hope to touch you. They let you feel miserable for days, weeks and months.
And sometimes, years.
They never make an effort to make you feel better. They make the situation worth dying for you.
They make you believe that nothing in this world can mend the loss for you. All stands finished. They show you their real self, when you need them the most.
This is where the toxicity strikes. Toxic people just intensify the whole situation.
For example, if you fail an exam and you are feeling really bad about it. You are expecting a pat on the back, to get over the pain.
But what a toxic friend does?
Here are some of the statements,
“All your efforts went in vain. What will you do now?”
“How could you fail such an easy exam. Everyone has passed it, except you”.
“You have to start over again. One whole year wasted. Your luck has stones in it”.
Could you see the toxicity coming out of the statements?
It’s time you identify it, before it gets too late.
#7: They approach you ONLY when they need Money
They never call you by themselves. Never invite you to their social gatherings. Never treat you like a friend.
One fine day, you get a call which says, “Please help me. I need money and you are my only friend”.
Suddenly, you become their only real friend and rest everyone enemies.
Ironically, this happens almost every month or every two months. You never hesitate in helping them but still, they don’t care about you.
You are an easy prey to fool around. You become a joke when everybody is around them, except you.
No need to bear the pain for people who don’t deserve your friendship. It’s time to say goodbye to them.
#8: They are not trustworthy
They lie so subtle, it becomes impossible to catch. They never share their plans with you. Never say anything about their life.
But once you trust them, they make sure you repent. You tell them one secret, and the whole world knows about it.
“I am just telling you about it. Don’t pass it on.” And the chain goes on, until the universe knows your secret.
#9: They push you through bad habits
“One drink won’t make you alcoholic.”
“One puff of smoke won’t transform you into a chain-smoker. This is what toxic people say.
They are caught in this vicious circle of intoxication. The moment, stress takes over, they take the easy way intoxicating themselves.
You know what?
They want you to be the same. Drunk. Inebriated. Smoker. Druggie.
Just because they can’t escape, they want you to join the party. You just become an excuse for them, to defend their own bad actions.
It’s time to pierce through such toxic people. Never say “YES” to them. There is always a first time.
#10: They never correct you when required
Even if they know you are doing wrong, they never stop you. They let you go through wrong actions. They see you suffering like a spectator.
Just like you see your team losing in a cricket or football match. Once you are done with sufferings, they would simply say,”I didn’t know the situation was so intense”.
#11: Your opinion doesn’t matter to them
They belittle you. You are never counted a part of any discussion.
Do you know why?
Because, your opinion is as important as a fart in the air. They show that you know nothing and that is why, your opinion is left unconsidered.
You are never allowed to speak. Toxic people shut your mouth, before you speak. Even if you try, they humiliate you publicly. They shatter your self-confidence.
They make you feel good for nothing.
#12: They are over opportunistic liars
They try to save their ass, always. Even after saying they will support you, backing off later is their pet habit. They never take a stand for you.
No matter if they say, “I promise”.
Given an opportunity, they are always ready to leave you. They never think how their behavior impacts your life.
#13: They often use, “I could have but,”
They show up like helpless creatures. Their favorite excuse,
“I could have but I had these issues”,
And the issues are endless. No comma and no full stop.
They come up with new excuses every time. I call such toxic people as “excuse machine”.
Such people are good in a corporate set up, where people are at least allowed to make excuses. They aren’t a fit for your life. It’s time to dump them, without any excuses.
#14: They are hungry to share the credit when you succeed
They aren’t around when you are sad. They never show up when you need them.
Once you step a milestone, they come running to you. Just to share the credit of your success.
They flaunt being associated to you. They call themselves an integral part of your life.
Not only this,
They say it’s their guidance which led you to success.
Can you believe it?
This happens. You just try and notice the next time you taste success. All the best for that.
#15: They make your life stink
Contentment is happiness. But, toxic people never allow you to stay satisfied.
They pinch you about the elements lacking in your life. Not because they care about you.
They make your life stink. They want to see you complaining about a situation. They try to supply a remedy, which proves to be completely unintentional.
We are accustomed to live with a sense of discomfort. When it enhances due to presence of toxic people, we never get to know.
Just because we are being taught that life is hard. Of course, it is.
But, the situation aggravates because of the negative vibes. It becomes worse to tackle when toxic people are around you. You are afraid to lose friends, so you never utter a word.
Stop doing this to you, right now. You deserve good friends who really care about you. Take a stand for you. Never hesitate before saying goodbye to such people. They are the bad ass in your life.
They can’t contribute anything towards your well-being. So, there is no point keeping such friends.
It’s your take now,
What toxic behaviors do you witness daily?
Are you able to identify toxic friends after reading the traits?
Do you have a story to share about getting rid of toxic people?
Can you add some more traits to this list? I would be happy, if you do so.
Make me happy today. I always do this for you.
Share your invaluable comments and stories in the comments sections.